Friday, September 21, 2012


Yesterday the children and I were sitting around the school table talking about a variety of topics.  Most were not really school related but were about life in general.  I mentioned that Dad was going to be coming home next week and that he would be home through October.  Of course, the children were excited about that bit of news.  It did prompt one of my children to tell me about his friend's family.  He says, " you know I have never seen his (talking about his friend) mom and dad show affection to each other."  The other boys, who are friends with them also, tell me yeah they don't even sit next to each other when they watch movies.  The boys went on to tell me different things, such as not going to bed at the same time, not always sleeping in the same bed, no kissing, no hand-holding, and so on.  My oldest then tells me, "yeah and the married people at work call their spouse old man or old lady."  Of course this starts the kids telling me about all they have observed about married couples in general.

It wasn't a criticism of these people it was more of why is this family different kind of thing and why do you and dad act like you do?  This really made me pause and think about things.  It's funny how life presents teachable moments when you least expect them.  I also thought it was pretty cool that the children do notice how Joe and I treat each other compared to how other couples behave.  It also made me take notice of the fact that my kids are watching other people, which means other children are watching us.  Do you ever stop and think about the huge impact your life has on society?

Curious about what I told the kids?  Sure you are. LOL  Well here it goes.  Mom and Dad's relationship is the most important one next to our relationship with God.  We try really hard to make sure you children see that and that we each feel that.  I want your dad to know I love him unconditionally.  I want you children to know that dad is the most important person to me. Do I always succeed? no.  I do have a sin nature after all.  Not an excuse, just a fact. You should always try to make your spouse feel loved and respected, not just once in awhile.  Dad and I show that love by doing those things.  Now let's think about it.  Would you feel loved if I never hugged you or told you?  How about if I never did anything with you?  A lot of couples let their relationship fall to the wayside by not nurturing it daily.  Those things we do help keep our relationship strong.

Honestly some of the stuff the kids mentioned never crossed my mind not to do.  Families need a mom and they need a dad and they need a mom and dad that love each other.  When the kids know that the parents love each other they feel secure.  They know they can go out and explore the world and mom and dad will still be there when they come back.  We show our love intentionally by holding hands, giving each other a kiss, going to bed together, and watching movies sitting next to each other.  We also made a decision along time ago not to call each other mom, dad, old lady, and old man.  Those names change the way you feel about each other and the way you treat each other.  I find them disrespectful.  Now Joe and I have been known to say them when we are teasing each other in good humor.

I feel there is room for improvement in our marriage.  I know I do things wrong.  Many I have been working on correcting.  But it is nice to get confirmation from the children that we are doing something right and hopefully they do it in their marriages.  After all their is no better way to teach than by example.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Life takes twist and turns

I know it has been a long while since I have written a post, but our lives have taken some turns.  1) we are homeschooling again 2) my husband's new job requires a lot of travel 3) we are traveling with him when we can.

It has been exciting and exhausting!  The path we have been on this last year has lead us here.  All I can say is I see how the Lord works everything to good.  There were times I was doubting and wondering why are we going through this but it all makes sense now.  The things we went through has led us to a wonderful place for our family.  Is it all according to what I had planned?  Ummmm..... no.  Was it worth?  Yes.

Me personally, I had to face some pretty emotional stuff but it made me take a hard look at myself.  I was able to deal with some deep hurts that I had experienced in my life and forgive those people.  Does forgiving me forgetting and letting those people back in?  No.  But it does release the hold they have had on me.  I have a peace and joy, I can't explain.

I see a change in our family, also.  The kids seem more relaxed and happy.  Mine and Joe's relationship has reached a new level.  Overall things are pretty good, we are happy.  Happiness does not mean we have no troubles and life is perfect.  It means we have reached a place where God leads and we are content to follow, knowing He will work it all to good.  I know it sounds cliche but it is an amazing feeling to face trouble and know God has your back.

We have spent most of the summer traveling with Joe.  Of course we took our school books and did homeschooling on the road.  We homeschool year round, it is what works for us.  There have been lots of field trips and new experiences.  I didn't get much of my organizing list done but I am working on it when I have the time.  

I do feel like I should share our lives, so maybe we can be an encouragement to someone out there.  Therefore I'm determined to be more faithful with my blogging.